


I Have a What Now?: Star Trek XI

by zorradesombra (Chessgrins)



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-24
Updated: 2012-11-24
Packaged: 2017-11-19 10:04:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/572096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chessgrins/pseuds/zorradesombra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Follows along with the movie, more or less. One James T. Kirk finds himself with a Greek Chorus of sorts. They make life entertaining. Rated for language and themes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Siddah

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Several things to start us out. While I can edit the crap out of other people’s work, I have problems with my own. For whatever reason, when I read it read what I mean which is not always what is there. I am having problems finding a beta for this. So, if you read and think ‘I could beta that,’ then please send me a PM. I will get back to you within a week.
> 
> Also, I have this idea knocking around my head. It will explain itself in the story as it goes along. However, if you find yourself with a comment or question, do not hesitate to comment or send me a PM. I will answer all questions to the best of my ability. If the answer is something that needs a spoiler alert, I will just tell you that. Constructive criticism is welcome, but no bitching for bitching sake. All comments will be responded to. Again, this is not beta approved. Should that change I will re-upload chapters as they are edited.
> 
> Lastly, I grew up with Star Trek in all its TV and movie forms. I am new, however to Star Trek fanfic and published works. Just keep that in mind please. This is my first foray into this fandom, but I doubt it will be my last. I do have several other fanfics going either on paper or posting. This will be updated sporadically, so consider yourself warned about long waits. 
> 
> Wow, longest A/N for me ever. Anyway, enjoy!
> 
> I do not own Star Trek, I just play with the characters.

Jimmy stares at his dad’s classic car. Well, it was his real dad’s car. Frank doesn’t deserve it. He just wants to sell it anyway. Jimmy wants to keep that from happening.

            “So, what’s the plan, kid?” a voice says, interrupting his thoughts.

            Jimmy jumps and looks next to him. In the space that had been empty just seconds before, there is a girl with purple and teal streaks in her hair and wearing the coolest leather jacket he has ever seen. She looks at him and quirks an eyebrow.

“Uh…take it? I guess? Who are you?” Jimmy is not afraid of her. In fact, he feels safer around her than anyone else.

“Name’s Siddah. You’re Jimmy Kirk. We’re going to be spending a lot of time together, I can feel it.” She sticks out her hand to shake his.

They turn back to look at the car. Siddah doesn’t offer the boy any ideas. Jimmy’s head is spinning with possibilities. There is yelling from the main house. The kid darts into the driver’s seat and slams the door.

“Let’s get this show on the road,” Siddah comments as she pulls on fingerless leather gloves.

The joyride is both short and eventful. Frank calls and Jimmy hangs up on him. The radio blares. The top gets lost when he tries to open it while in motion. There is a bit of a police chase. Then there is the cliff they are approaching at breakneck speed. The kid’s not stopping. At least this way Frank can never have the car.

“Jump out of the car!”Siddah shouts over the rushing air. She may help give him a boost with a push.

While talking to the police, Jimmy notices that the officer cannot see or hear Siddah. Weird. Instinctively he pretends she is not there too. He’s in enough trouble as it is.

 

“You did good, kid,” Siddah says after Jimmy has been locked in his room.

“No one else can see you, can they?” he whispers.

“Nope. They can’t hear me either,” she answers.

“Does that mean you are my imaginary friend?” He crawls into her lap and hands her a book.

“I’m just the dominant vice in your chorus. The others will come along as time goes by. Everyone has a chorus. It’s just that most people stop believing that they are there and the chorus fades into silence. Not everyone forgets though. That is where the Greek Chorus comes from. The playwrights did not let theirs fade, instead they were inspired by them.” Siddah wraps Jimmy in a hug.

“I’ll always believe in you,” he fervently promises.

“Back atcha, darlin’.” She kisses his hair and then opens the book.

Siddah reads until Jimmy falls asleep in her arms. He’s had a rough life. She has no illusions that she will be around for more than a few years. Jimmy will find his own way. Once he forgets her, she will be no more. But right now, he needs her. So, she holds him through the night. He snuggles closer every so often, like he’s afraid she will vanish while he sleeps.

 

 

_Years Pass_

“Heya, Kitten,” Siddah greets the battered Jim Kirk.

“Heya, yourself. Why do you still call me that?” he replies.

“Do you really want me to stop?” She smiles sweetly back at him.

“No, of course not.” Even though he sounds like he is pandering to her, Jim is not willing to go without the endearment. He loves it, if he is being honest with himself.

“Aren’t you tired of getting into bar fights? With your history, it’s so expected. You are practically a cliché,” Siddah comments as she retrieves the first aid kit.

“Where is everyone?” Jim looks around.

He has long since stopped trying to make sense of what a member of a chorus can and cannot do. They can’t fight with him in a bar, but they can patch him up. He doesn’t need it to make sense.

“Oh, you know. They like to go out sometimes. Now, hold still,” she orders. The stinging makes him flinch anyway.

I met a Captain Pike tonight. He broke up the fight.” Jim is trying to distract himself from Siddah’s torture techniques with cleaning him up.

“Fighting cadets again? I bet you picked the prettiest girl in a cadet uniform and hit on her. Did Captain McAwesome go with you?” Siddah shakes her head at him.

“No, I was alone this time. I did hit on the prettiest cadet there. Some beefy guys with hopes for futures in security work felt that they had something to prove. It’s nothing new. That’s not the point. Pike knew who I was. He even wrote a dissertation on the Kelvin,” Jim almost whispers.

“Kitten, you know that you cannot hide from your father’s memory. He was a great man that you are secretly proud to call father. You won’t grow into the man that I know you can be by sulking in his shadow. What did Pike say that makes you so pensive?” Siddah finishes applying bandages and sits down across the corner of the table.

“He dared me to do better than my dad,” Jim explains.

“Then he knows how brilliant you are. But the question is, what are you going to do about it?” She patiently waits for him to think his answer through.

“I think I’m going to join Star Fleet,” Jim responds after a bit.

“It’s about time.” Siddah rolls her eyes.

They sit in silence for a while. Siddah carefully watches him. Jim loses himself in his thoughts. Eventually, he nods and gets ready for bed. Curiosity about the dissertation is a constant buzz in the back of his mind.

“Siddah?” Jim calls.

“Yeah, Kitten?” She sits on the foot of his bed.

“You guys are coming with me, right?” Suddenly he is insecure and needs to hear the answer.

“Darlin’, the only way to get rid of us is to forget us.” She chuckles.

“This is going to be interesting.” Jim sighs.

“If by interesting you mean entertaining. Then yes, it will be _very_ interesting.” Siddah smirks.

“For you guys. I’m going to have to pretend that you aren’t there at all.” He sighs.

“Sweet dreams, Kitten.” There’s a ghost of a kiss on his forehead.

Jim does not have to open his eyes to know that she vanished. She does the same thing every night. The routine was set early on in their friendship and she never wavers from it. The consistency calms him. It centers him in a way that he will never have to miss, not if he can do anything about it. Each member of his chorus brings something into his life. In fact, he is pretty sure that they are the reason he beats the odds so often. Briefly, Jim wonders who will make an appearance on his actual trip to the Academy. He falls into a surprisingly peaceful slumber.

 


	2. Candi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, the first chapter was admittedly less funny than the rest of the story will be. This chapter gets to the funny part, promise. Hope you like Candi! 
> 
> I do not own Star Trek in any of its forms, I just play with the characters.

“I got up extra early to read Pike’s dissertation,” Jim announces to what appears to be an empty room.

“Hand it over.” Siddah appears, sitting on the table. He grins and obliges her.

“I’m heading out,” he responds.

“Drive safely and we’ll meet you there.” Siddah waves him off. Chuckling, Jim leaves behind his civilian life.

The ride to the shuttle is uneventful in the weak light. Jim uses the time to consider his reasoning. Siddah told him he needs this. As he dismounts his bike, he has to agree with her. Without a thought, he tosses the keys to a worker that compliments his bike. Of course he can’t resist upping the ante with Pike on his way in to find an open seat.

“Like OMG, why didn’t you say anything about that silver fox,” s high-pitched voice breaks into Jim’s thoughts.

“Candi, he can’t talk to us right now and not look like he won’t pass the psych eval.” Siddah doesn’t even look up from her PADD.

“I know, but come on. Look at him,” Candi whines.

“Moving on,” Jim quietly mutters. The pair distract him so that he does not notice the lower beam.

“Nice,” Siddah snorts. Candi tries to hide her giggle behind her pompoms.

Jim mock salutes a couple of the guys he fought in the bar before meandering to an open seat. While buckling up, he smiles at Uhura.

“So that’s the girl. Too bad for you that she is obviously taken.” Siddah turns her attention back to the PADD as raised voices reach their ears.

“Hello, sexy. You should have joined up years ago. I could have been introduced to an entire academy filled with hot guys,”Candi pouts. Jim covers his snort with a slight cough.

“I’ll give you this one. I wouldn’t mind if he was my personal doctor,” Siddah says in response to both Candi and the guy’s remark to security.

“So, he’s afraid of dying in something that flies. I’m afraid of dying without being in his arms,” Candi purrs.

“Keep it in your pants,” Siddah replies as she quirks an eyebrow at the cheerleader.

“I’m not wearing pants.” Candi is seriously which only makes Siddah roll her eyes.

“Then keep your panties on. If he can’t see or hear us, then he can’t hold you either,” Siddah huffs.

“…Space is disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence,” the man is talking to Jim.

“Make friends with this guy, Kitten. I like him and you need a friend that everyone can see and hear.” Siddah smiles at the scruffy, gruff man sitting next to Jim.

“OMG, guys. Did you just hear that? He’s divorced. That makes him available,” Candi sings out.

“As much as I think you should understand how his relationship status is irrelevant for us, I’m just going to say knock yourself out.” Siddah pinches the bridge of her nose.

“Who cares? Dr. Scruffy is way hot.” Candi is practically drooling.

Jim gratefully takes the offered flask. They introduce themselves and settle in. As the shuttle departs, Siddah goes back to her reading. Candi skips around picking out guys who she would love to get to know. By the end of the trip, Jim is calling Leonard ‘Bones’ while the scruffy man wonders where the hell that came from.

“I’m still going to call him Dr. Scruffy,” Candi announces as they disembark from the shuttle.

“Of course you are,” Siddah responds.

Jim and Bones end up in the same room. Once he unpacks, Bones heads out to schedule his classes or yell at his advisor, Jim is not really paying attention enough to know which one.

“Downright miraculous that you two are roomies,” Siddah comments.

“We are the only two late recruits, so track does not matter. Really, it makes total sense to stick us together,” Jim rambles.

“Sure, sure, Kitten. You have forgotten one thing though.” Siddah perches on the desk that Jim called dibs on when he and Bones first walked in.

“What’s that?” He is not at all sure he wants to hear the answer.

“I know you. So, I know you rigged it this way.” Her look dares him to convince her otherwise.

“I thought you wanted me to be friends with him So what is I had to bend a few rules?” He gives her his best puppy dog eyes.

“I do like him and you two are going to be great friends. I’m just proud of you, is all. I mean, look at how big you are. They grow up so fast…” Siddah manages to sound a little choked up at the end.

“You are hilarious.” Jim rolls his eyes.

“So, we’re rooming with the way yummy Dr. Scrufry?” Candi prances through the room.

“No, _I’m_ rooming with _Bones_.” Jim smirks.

“But we are with you.” Candi tilts her head to one side, genuinely confused.

“Blondie has a point. We are kinda a package deal. Are you going to tell him about us?” Siddah looks at him.

“You know that will only make him send me to someone to have my sanity checked and I have already done one psych eval,” Jim replies.

“He’s in the medical track. Also, he’s a serious student. So, he will be in this room _a lot_ ,” Siddah points out.

“Are you saying that I am not a serious student?” Jim pretends to be offended.

“Of course I am not saying that, because it goes without saying.” Siddah keeps a straight face.

“Well, then I won’t be in here as often.” He shrugs.

“That leaves public places, mostly. I am not, and I do mean _not_ , bar hopping with you while you and Captain McAwesome succumb to your desire to behave like toddlers or sex-crazed teenagers.” She stares him down.

“We’ll work something out,” he assures her.

“Uh-huh.” Siddah is not convinced.

“OMG, you guys! Dr. Scruffy has the most adorable daughter,” Candi squeals, hoisting up a photograph. She has been bouncing around the room while the other two talked.

“Huh, guy does make cute babies,” Siddah agrees.

“Can we please just tone it down? It’s hard enough to get to know a new friend without this kind of commentary running,” Jim pleads.

“He is way hot,” Candi says, like that in itself gives free reign to commentary.

“You fixed it to room with him.” Siddah giggles.

“Then I suppose that I should just be grateful that he can’t see or hear you.” Jim flops on his bed as the door swooshes open.

“Who are you talking to?” Bones looks around the room and only sees his roommate.

“Uh…just myself.” Jim’s voice is muffled by his pillow. He doesn’t see Bones give him a look that says his new friend is either an infant or crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: More members of the chorus will be introduced as we go. Who likes Siddah and/or Candi? While I have some of the chorus planned, I am open to suggestions if you so desire. Thanks for reading! Review if you please.


	3. Captain McAwesome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we introduce one of my favorites of the chorus. I hope you like him as much as I do. Even though this is not part of the movie, I think a few antics in the Academy could only be a good thing. Enjoy!
> 
> I do not own Star Trek, I just play with the characters.

“We’re going out,” Jim announces as he enters the room. Bones had had a rough week. His ex-wife called to tell him that he would not be able to see his daughter despite the fact that they were vacationing in San Francisco with husband number two. Bones was both pissed and devastated. He loved that little girl and somehow her mother had managed to make him have the worst visitation policy ever. Jim knew he needed a distraction at the very least.

“The hell we are,” Bones grunts, buried in his work.

“I need some fun. It’s been too long since the last time I had some fun…” Jim starts.

“Too long my ass. You went out last night,” Bones growls.

“…and who even knows if you have ever had some fun,” Jim goes on like no one interrupted him.

“Poor bastard doesn’t even know he’s lost the battle yet.” Siddah appears next to the unsuspecting doctor.

Jim and Bones go back and forth for a few minutes. Eventually Jim wins out, of course. Siddah smiles sympathetically at the poor guy. He heads to the bathroom to get ready for a night out that he did not want.

“Coming with?” Jim whispers while water is running in the bathroom.

“I think you need to realize who you are talking to and ask an appropriate question.” Siddah smirks.

“So you are leaving Bones to be with me, Captain McAwesome, and maybe Candi?” That doesn’t seem fair. I thought you liked him.” Jim pouts. Siddah rolls her eyes at his antics.

“Considering that he can only see and hear one of you idiots, I’m sure he will make out just fine. Anyway, someone needs to point out all the mistakes in this poor-ass attempt at your midterm paper.” She waves the PADD.

“Hey, I worked hard on that,” he complains.

“Care to swing that by me again?” She pushes the issue. Siddah never takes Jim’s crap.

“Well…hard-ish,” he amends.

“I hope you aren’t describing your…”Bones starts.

“Bones! You scared the shit out of me!” Jim plays up clutching his chest. Siddah snickers.

“Dude, are we leaving or aren’t we?” Captain McAwesome taps his watch impatiently.

 

“Totally,” Candi contributes.

“Let’s go.” Jim claps Bones on his shoulder and heads to the door.

“Try to come back in one piece for once in your life, Kitten,” Siddah calls as the door closes.

Jim and Bones walk towards one of Jim’s favorite watering holes. Bones grumbles the whole way there. Candi keeps up her running commentary on the guys they come across. That includes on Dr. Scruffy, aka Bones. Captain McAwesome is appreciating all the ladies around in silence…mostly.

“Dude, I totally find her aesthetically pleasing.” Captain McAwesome raises one eyebrow as the random girl passes him.

“OMG. Can’t you, like, speak English?” Candi fuses at her companion. Jim grins to himself. Those two always go through this argument.

Captain McAwesome is, oddly enough, a Vulcan. He doesn’t talk or act like it, but that is what his genetic structure would be if he were corporeal. He does the traditional Vulcan thing, in his dress, about once every blue moon. Tonight, however, he is dressed in jeans, a retro Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle t-shirt, a tiny cowboy hat, and a cape from a child’s Dracula costume. The cape is his favorite thing to wear even though it only comes down to his hands. Yet somehow, despite all of that, he is amazingly helpful as an invisible wingman. His lines either got Jim laid or hit.

The group arrives at the club. Candi hops right to the middle of the dance floor and lets loose. Jim is once again incredibly grateful that no one else can see her. She moves gracefully without any effort. If she was visible, he would have to run so much interference with guys trying to take her home that he would not get any action himself.

Bones makes a beeline for an open table. Jim heads to the bar to get the first round. They always alternate who gets each round.

“Dude, she is totally undressing you with her eyes.” Captain McAwesome lifts his hand for a high five. Jim shakes his head slightly, hoping that no one notices or cares.

“Dude, come on. Don’t leave me hanging. Oh, are you sticking with Dr. Scruffy?” Captain McAwesome looks at his friend like he is concerned for Jim’s mental health. Jim nods discreetly.

“Like OMG. Is the infamous Jim Kirk not going to chase down girls?” Candi comes up behind Jim, surprising him enough that he almost drops the drinks he is carrying.

“Hello there,” this girl leans on Jim’s arm.

“Hello there, yourself.” He treats her to a dazzling smile.

“So, wanna dance?” She slurs and tries to pull him on the dance floor with her.

“Sorry, I’m here with a friend.” He manages to shove her gently off of him.

“I will check again another time,” she purrs before heading away with a wink.

“Ditching me already?” Bones takes his whiskey.

“Nah, somebody’s gotta moderate your drinking.” Jim smirks.

“Yeah, I’m the problem in this situation,” Bones grumps.

“I’m glad to hear you finally admit it.” Jim chuckles.

“Idiot.” Bones rolls his eyes, but loves that his friend is willing to be so normal in spite of the kind of week that just ended.

The two sit and drink. As the rounds come and go, Jim gets Bones to talk about his bitchy ex. Most of it is blowing off steam. Some of it, however, is rather enlightening. Jim is pissed on behalf of his best friend. He is pretty sure that it is because of the injustice of it all and not the impressive amount of alcohol he has already put away. Bones left the table to get another round…or dance with that girl that had been hounding him…or to go to the bathroom. Jim simply cannot remember.

“You should dance with me, Jim.” Candi pouts.

“Not drunk enough,” Jim slurs through his haze.

“Please?” She gives him her best puppy dog eyes.

“Why don’t you dance with Captain McAwesome?” He retorts.

“A little premature with that rank, don’t you think?” Bones surprises them all with his return to the table.

“Not talking about me.” Jim tosses back the new drink in front of him.

“Dude, it is illogical for you to continue with this discussion.” Captain McAwesome tries to derail Jim.

“Yeah? Then who were you talking about? And who are you talking to?” Bones manages to focus on what his friend is telling him.

“OMG! I wish Siddah were here…” Candi hides her face in her pompoms.

“Why? Why would you think that I would want to be here?” Siddah appears next to Candi.

“They are members of my chorus. You can’t see or hear them. Only I can.” Jim continues on. Bones gets very serious, very fast.

“We’re heading home.” The doctor declares before he heads to the exit.

“What?” Jim looks confused at Siddah, Candi, and Captain McAwesome.

“If I were able to, I would punch you in the face so hard right now, dipshit.” Siddah glares at him.

Somehow, Jim and Bones stumble back to their room. Bones does not say anything at all. True to the luck of one James T. Kirk, his friend collapses on his bed and promptly passes out. Jim has lost some of his buzz, but is not far behind the doctor.

“Sweet dream, Kitten.” Siddah brushes a kiss on his forehead like always.

“Dude, what now?” Captain McAwesome slumps into one of the desk chairs.

“The only thing to do now is to wait and see how this plays out when they wake up…” Siddah sighs.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well? I did not want to put the whole “Kitten may be crazy” thing in motion so early, but it wrote so well in this part. Do you like Captain McAwesome as much as I do? He was the second one that came to my mind when I started with this concept. His cape just goes with him in my mind. How do you think Bones will react?

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I already have a few members of his chorus in my head. There will be many, but only a handful that show up regularly. Thanks for reading! Review if you please!


End file.
